muzica, în adâncul ei

Muzica frumoasă e aia care vorbește. Cuvintele simbolice, mai ales, sunt frumoase. Tender you go he said, and i melted inside. If she had wings, she would fly away. Cam asta fac mereu. Zbor undeva, departe, unde lumea e mai frumoasă. E mai frumoasă în muzica mea. Muzica e singurul limbaj care e cunoscut universal, limbajul cu care s-au comunicat cel mai ușor evenimentele importante ale omului istoric; de ce nu se mai știe asta? De ce nu se înțelege asta? Poți vorbi în orice fel de engleză despre iubire, sună frumos. Chiar și în română, dar mai ales în franceză. Vorbești un sentiment care te face să map my face out line by line care trezește aceleași emoții pretutindeni. Dacă știi să iubești. Și nu, nu e muzica un limbaj universal doar pentru că vorbește despre iubire, un sentiment universal. Pentru că I feel something so wrong doing the right thing e la fel de bine înțeles everywhere. Simbolurile, subordonate unor nevoi umane profund spirituale, sunt responsabile cu dezvoltarea imaginației, fără de care omul este trist, nu se bucură de o lume interioară. Imaginație. Asta spun cuvintele acestea: In the water where the scent of my emotion, all the world will pass me by Fly away on my zephyr. Imaginație. Pentru că unele cuvinte sunt mai presus de realitate, se ridică atât de sus încât ajung up that hill și up and away . Se agață de câte un simbol și se depărtează de om. Atunci a fi îmbrățișați nu mai semnifică un act de tandrețe pur și simplu, pentru că when you’re in my arms, you’ve gone somewhere deeper. Chiar și iubirea se înalță. Tocmai când începeam să cred că e supremă, el zice că e source divine garantat. Cu excepția momentelor în care inima e un fel de ashtray heart. Tot el se leagă de tristețe, rămâne fără ea altfel, rugând-o: please, don’t leave me blind. De câte ori ai simțit asta? Tocmai aici se ascunde frumusețea muzicii: în simboluri, în semnificație și în talent discursiv. Chiar atunci când e pe cale să cadă în ordinar, chinuit adânc de slăbiciunea iubirii, cere protecție, protege-moi , însă o face în franceză și sună iar bine. E frumos. Semnificația acestei simbolistici este, de fapt, ascunsă în dimensiunile sacre. În timpul sacru, în spațiul sacru. Rupturi ale dimensiunilor profane care definesc zilele omului, timpul și spațiul sacre sunt repetabile la nesfîrșit, nu au secundă ori cm., ci sunt emoție. Atunci când te gândești retrospectiv, lost and insecure, you found me, ori acum, and i love her with all that i am, and my breath, as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair, ori prospectiv, i won’t give up,we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, te rupi efectiv de ordinar, te ridici deasupra și tu, într-un timp care este unic, al tău, căruia tu îi dai semnificație și care înseamnă ceva doar pentru tine. Este un timp al tău, al vostru, un timp sacru. La fel, te trezești uneori într-un spațiu altfel, care nu este dens, este colorat, miroase a vară ori a prima zăpadă. Unde nu-ți lovești doar genunchiul, ci și inima: skinned out hearts and skinned our knees. Unde singura semnificație este cea a ta: the corner where i first saw you. Așadar, muzica nu este doar o melodie, un sunet, este o aglomerație de sentimente, de emoții, de simboluri și de semnificații. Muzica frumoasă spune ceva, nu doar îndrumă. Muzica frumoasă vorbește a inspirație.

Trist

Aproapele meu, centrul meu, spaţiul meu sacru e foarte departe. Este foarte departe de mine.

thoughts yet again.

There are many ways to achieve our goals but ignoring our inner voice is not one of them.
Choices you make define who you are. They’re the building rocks of our life.

Sarcasm-the last refuge of modest people when the privacy of their souls is intrusively invaded

I fear that you will cease to yarn the flight
A leap into the unknown
Chasing the past she stumbled into the future
Nothing less than perfection will do.
Courage is the fragile blossom that grows in the snow
Learn to be what you are and learn to resign with grace all that you are not.
It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are.
The most exhausting thing in life is being sincere


Sand is overrated
She applies her personality in a paste
“I don’t need nice. I don’t need to be it and I don’t need anybody else to be It at me.”
She can't tell from one moment to the next what she's gonna like
How happy is the blameless?
Change your heart, it will astound you.
We like to communicate. So much we create 7000 facial expressions
44 muscles and 2 bones
Wisdom is knowing the difference between what you can change and what you were born with
Coward is labeling what you don’t want to change as innate
You grow up and out of pureness. you grow out of these feelings and you peel off your expectations just to make room for the higher ones. progress, that is
Never to forget what kissing while crying felt like
It is at dawn that my soul awakens
The power lies in our ability to act upon enthusiasm
Scotched in acceptance
A drop of sun might work
When did enthusiastic become overrated?
Bad time for long-term decisions
"You are a beautiful woman. you deserve a beautiful life"
Jung- "your vision will become clear when you look in your heart. He who looks outside dreams. He who looks inside awakens."
Yet it is in our idleness that the submerged truth comes to the top

It was strange, so much to burn, such colors; it scared me.

friend. best...friend.

you tell me to take care, I'll just turn to the one who will take care of me himself. because he is a true friend.

smile

my smile is a red, velvet curtain.

change. strange.

i wanted to go to the market, i wanted to buy some more time. i wished to purchase my childhood and become its child yet again. i just wanted to remain there, to extend a bit its validity date and remain this way some more. i wanted to buy some more time to be its favorite child.

i went to the market and asked to balance it all: my past, my mistakes, my thoughts, my expectations. i wanted to be able to separate them easily and put them in two bags: "to take" and "to leave". i still want to put them all in balance and be able to move on and focus.I hold one hand to everything behind, i still catch glimpses of everything i used to have, of everyone i used to keep close.

it is hard, moving on. it implies change, it implies leaving behind and digging. it implies digging through memories, dear belongings and, worse, it implies moving away. i will have to move my body away from this cold building i used to call home and my heart apart from them. i have already started to chain it inside, protect her from everything, good or bad. it's become numb, emotions don't ache anymore. for the first time the unknown does not fascinate me, for the very first time i fear this change. i fear taking this train to the unknown, the ticket is way too expensive. it is worth everything i owned these years.

i wanted to buy some more time to hold my brother's hand late in the night, to feel my mother's warm embrace and to wait yet again for this man's timid smile.
i'll go to the supermarket to buy a big wall to place in front of me, to keep this change from happening, to protect my heart from breaking.

you, my mind.

she said she wanted to be friends again, she's been telling me that for a while and she's been sitting on my mind comfortably sending me mixed signals, all of them heading for the same purpose.
she said she wanted to communicate more with me. she's fed up with all the little dwarfs around her and she started to wish i took her hand and fix it all.
it's for the best that our minds with all its wishes and needs are hid beneath, deep within, protected from all there is, such as mistaken interpretations and misjudged preconceptions. were they ever made public, were they at some point made known, they'd be savagely destroyed, fought with without reason, without exception, by the not-meaning-well, the too-mean ones, just for the sake of proving they think, they have something to say or wishing to do harm. they'd cause pain, without reason, without purpose.
he said i needed love, he said i deserved love, I was worth it, he sent me back to speak with her.
i have always craved for something like it, i wanted it so badly i refused to believe it would ever come true. now i feel it is suffocatingly beautiful and i do not know how to appreciate it or even how to accept it.
i need to talk to her again. i'll ask questions, i'll find answers, i'll question the answers until i can stand sure of these and happy. i have to remember everything that i have ever wished for and i have to be courageous yet again, just as i used to be.